Poor Planning...

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

For Incompetent Planners

There's a phrase I've heard used liberally throughout my daily meanderings.

I've heard it at work... I've heard it at play... I've even heard it at the grocery store.

That phrase is this:

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."

Basically it's a statement that indemnifies the speaker from having to drop everything and pull the asker out of an abyss of panic just because the asker failed to budget their time correctly from the start of a particularly difficult project.

(How's that for a poorly-cobbled sentence. Sheesh.)

I don't apply this statement liberally throughout my life.

I'm a helper. When someone has a crisis, I try to pitch in.

It works out pretty well, since I too have crises on occasion, and it's nice to have some help to get me through it.

But, there are individuals who just need to help themselves.

Mostly these are the particularly needy folks who leech on to any available life form and slowly suck the willingness to rise and shine right out of them. They prey upon kindness and helpfulness as sustainance for their all-consuming codependence.

It is mostly for those folks that I have created this list:

SUNNY SMILES' GUIDE TO
EMERGENCY SITUATIONS

 

Emergency Tier 1

Yes, this is a major emergency. It is acceptable to panic.

It is expected that you will need assistance with this situation.

* You - or a direct relative - has lost a body part or is otherwise mangled.

* Someone's life - person or pet - is in the balance.

* The apocalypse has come.

Emergency Tier 2

This is a minor emergency. It is not unheard of to panic, but it helps the situation if you don't.

Assistance readily supplied upon request.

* You left the stove on.

* Your basement is slowly filling with water.

* The doctor calls asking to schedule some follow-up tests because something isn't right.

Emergency Tier 3

This is an inconvenience. It is not acceptable to panic.

Assistance will only be available by the kindest individuals who desperately want to help you.

* Your car won't start.

* You misplaced your cell phone/glasses.

* The dog ate [insert your non-lethal substance here. For lethal substances, escalate to Tier 1].

Emergency Tier 4

This is a normal part of human life. It is not acceptable to panic, or even to suggest that this is a worrisome situation.

You will be ridiculed if you seek assistance.

* Traffic or road construction happens somewhere during your commute.

* I left the grocery shopping until the refrigerator was completely empty and I haven't any bonbons for snack.

* The little light in my car came on and now I need an oil change.**1

So, hopefully, that breakdown helps. It provides a basic reaction to whatever scenario may be playing out before you.

As a helpful aside, unnecessary escalation is cause for ignoring future pleas for assistance. For instance, if you escalate a Tier 4 issue to a Tier 2 issue, the next time you have a legitimate Tier 2 issue you're likely to be ignored altogether. The Emergency Paradox walks hand in hand with the Crying Wolf Paradigm.

RaYD,

Sunny

**1 Yeah, I've heard that one. "The light came on and I've got to go get an oil change right now! You can cover me, right?" And then she ran out the door.

Yeah. Ran.