Survival of the Snuggliest

I made it through, ReaderFriends! I survived the flu**1, in no small part because of the efforts of one Young Master and one Boyfriend of Amazingness.

Boyfriend of Amazingness made soup, kissed my forehead and talked me out of going to work until my fever broke and I was feeling better. He was, basically, Amazing.

Young Master took it upon himself to be my blanket, my footwarmer and my tissue. At no point during my illness was I without his nannying presence - He slept**2 within easy nose-ing distance at all times. He didn't leave except for cursory check-ins with Boyfriend of Amazingness, for bathroom excursions or to grab a mouthful of food. Seriously... he wouldn't even indulge in a full meal. He would eat a bite, toss his ball once, and then run back to my side.

I guess it does take a village to keep me on track.

**1 The first flu I can remember having since I was in fourth grade. I remember specifically because I missed a week of school except for one day when I had to go in and give a presentation on loons. I don't remember a blasted thing about that presentation except that I had a CD of loon calls that I played while I was presenting, and one of the birds was hitting the exact note that made my eyes water. Then my teacher took my picture, because it was a Big Deal sort of presentation. Somewhere I still have that photo, of me looking feverish and oozy and completely out of it. That's how I felt this past week.

**2 Slept is a strong term. He hovered. He didn't rest, and was therefore exhausted by the end of the whole ordeal. We rewarded him with an extra-long day of daycamp, where he played with other dogs for ten hours straight. He promptly came home and fell asleep, where he's been for the past 36 hours.

Etiquette

I've not been the picture of health this week.

Fortunately, for today, I'm feeling much better. I still have a nasty cough, but my spirits are back up and the flow of viscous fluids is way down.

(Not that I wouldn't have loved a snowday today, that is. It appears that we're being walloped by Winter Storm Nemo, which - up to now - has just been the meteorological equivalent of a hearty sneeze. Lots of floofy white powder that's super-easy to shovel? Bring it on!)

But still... it's not really peak health season here in the office. The cold weather forces the nasty, germ-ridden air to stay inside and get circulated - over and over and over again - by the nasty air circulator machines which just cycle viruses around and around and around. It's kind of like being in soup. Nasty, disgusting, phlegmy soup.

(That made me gag a little. Let's move on.)

Today I arrived at the office to find an e-mail from my supervisor to All Employees. It's prudent, so I thought I'd share it here. If even one of the points she made helps to keep one person from falling into the clammy grips of the plague, then this public service announcement wasn't made in vain.

Stay well, my friends.

Subject: Cold and Flu Season Etiquette

All, as you may have noticed or even experienced, we are in the throes of cold and flu season.  Below are some tips to help you and/or your co-workers stay healthy:

Sunny's Note: I think it's clever that she addresses the issue of Those Who Are Already Sick, And Therefore Will Feel That This Isn't Intended For Them. I love her subtext: "I don't care if you're already snotty. Try to give a damn about the other people around you, and perhaps save them from snot of their own."

Stay Clean

Wash your hands frequently throughout the day. Even if you don’t think your hands are dirty, you may have picked up some germs from touching doorknobs, computer keyboards, telephones, and other office equipment. Lather your hands and wrists with soap and rinse for at least 20 seconds.

Keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in your pocket or purse or use the ones on the walls inside the doors on each floor. If you can’t get to a sink as frequently as you like, use the sanitizer according to directions. This doesn’t mean that every time you shake someone’s hand, you should whip it out in front of the person. Be discreet and do it a few minutes later. You don’t want to insult anyone. Hand sanitizers are made in a variety of sizes and scents, so pick one that fits your needs but doesn’t offend others with strong smells. Remember that some people are allergic to fragrance.

Sunny's Note: I also think it's clever that she points out how not to insult others. It's always important, as you may have noticed that local sensitivity to individual insulting tendencies can be low.

Baby wipes can also help prevent the spread of germs. Keep a travel size pack in your pocket or purse and use them to wipe off grocery carts and hand baskets. If you touch a doorknob after coughing or sneezing, use the baby wipe to clean it.

Stash Tissues

Have a stash of tissues in your home, your office, and your car. Keep a travel pack in your handbag or pocket for emergencies. When you feel a sneeze or coughing attack about to happen, cover your mouth and nose with a tissue. As soon as possible, find a sink and wash your hands. If you don’t have a tissue, bend your elbow and cough or sneeze into the crook of your arm.

When Others Are Sick

Be generous with your tissues when others around you don’t feel well. This will provide comfort for them and protection for you. Keep a bottle of hand sanitizer on the edge of your desk to make it convenient for coworkers to use. The small expense of refills is worth not having the germs lingering and making everyone else sick.

Be Honest

If you are still dealing with the residual effects of a cold or flu, let others know. They will appreciate your honesty when you don’t accept their handshake. Rather than be rude and ignore their extended hand, you should offer an explanation. You may say something like, “I’m sorry, but I’ve been sick recently, and I don’t want to spread germs. I would feel terrible if you caught my cold.” The other person will appreciate your gesture and consideration.

Sunny's Note: I'm doing just that, as we speak. I'm making up a little flier to post in my doorway saying "Don't worry, friends. My bark is worse than my bite. But to save you from a bark of your own, please sanitize your hands upon departing from these premises."

General Good Manners

There will be times when you cough or sneeze in public, but you should still follow some basic etiquette rules. Turn away from people to prevent spraying them with germs, again,  cover your mouth and nose or bend your elbow and cough or sneeze into the crook of your arm. When you are finished, say, “Excuse me,” or “I am sorry.”

Sunny's Note: This is hugely important. So many people forget the follow-up to the cough and/or sneeze. It's not just up to the receiver to say "Bless you" or "Gezeundheit" or "Snurfle snompdom." It's up to the giver to acknowledge their expulsion and apologize for any residual splatter that may get them. It's manners.

Thanks for your consideration.

Sniffles and Snorts and Giggles, Oh My!

I... am sick as a dog. Remember how I thought they were allergies?

I was wrong.

I haven't been this miserable in years.

In fact... even Boyfriend of Amazingness is admitting that I'm in pretty sorry shape.

So, today, I dragged myself into the office... but not for long. If I can make it through lunchtime, I'll take myself home and put me back to bed.

But I'm not feeling stellar.

Which made it all the more exciting when a caller got me to burst into peals of laughter:

*Phone Rings*

Sunny: Good morning. This is Sunny - How can I help you?

Caller: Sunny, I need [employee], please.

Sunny: Of course. Hang on just a moment, let me see if...

Caller: Actually, I don't need him. I just need to talk to him.

Sunny: Oh! Of course.

Caller: You can keep him.

Sunny: *laughing* Well, that's very kind of you. Let me see if I can get him on the phone.

Speaking of Snot...

I have the weirdest head-yuck ever.

At first I thought it was the hell-cough that was circulating around the office. Which made sense, because this nonsense started as a cough. Just a little mild tickle at first, but it turned into a hacking mess that makes Boyfriend of Amazingness wake up, sit up in bed and rub my back with a request that I not die in his presence.

So, okay. Hell-cough. Whatever.

I stocked up on cough drops (of the cinnamon candy variety, since regular cough drops tend to make me feel nauseated) and settled in for the duration.

Except then I started to sneeze.

And ooze.

And be otherwise disgustingly viscous.

"Alright," I thought to myself. "Not a hell-cough. I've obviously got the plague."

So I started trying to drown myself in fluids. I introduced myself to curry, which I've heard has remarkable plague-killing powers. And I started blowing my nose like a crazy person.

Until this morning, when I was came to my Startling Realization.

(Actually... I came to two. The first was that if I blew my nose One More Time, the damned thing was likely to fall off altogether.)

But the more important realization was that my plague went away when I stood up and moved around.

Or if I drank water.

Or if I chewed on one of my candies.

(Or anything else, for that matter. I've eaten more in the past 18 hours than in the former three days.)

So... this isn't a plague.

Plagues don't do that.

Also of note: When I get sick, I get sick all over. My joints ache. My face oozes. My stomach churns. And my head ceases purposeful activity. I can't think... I can't be witty... most of the time, I can't even make real sentences.**1 So the fact that I'm cogent enough to put together a comical-enough-that-I-feel-comfortable-posting-it blog post makes me realize (again) that this isn't a real sickness.

So now I'm on to thinking that it's allergies.

Except... I've never had allergies before. SO I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I stopped at the local grocery store this morning to get some anti-histamines and chocolate (because nothing is okay without chocolate). I drank all of my effervesced water (because nothing soothes a troubled nose like tiny bubbles) before 9:00 in the morning. And now it's just before 1:00 in the afternoon... and I'd like to go home. I'm starting to ache ever so slightly. I haven't taken ten minutes off from blowing my nose since I arrived at work at half-past seven.

What would be best, right now, is if I were to go take up residence on my couch.

I could stuff a couple of tampons up my nose and drift off in peace.

**1 I refer you now to my NaNoWriMo reflection upon the Fever From Hell. Yes - this part of my novel was autobiographical.

Older Than My Years

Remember yesterday when I wasn't feeling so hot?

Well... that continues into today. I'm feeling better... but still a little linty around the edges.**1

And when I'm sick, I have a certain sequence of events that I try to follow so I don't get more sick. It doesn't matter whether I've got the flu or the sniffles - the procedure remains constant, so one doesn't turn into the others. (Although it would be a pretty cool trick if you could turn the flu into the sniffles. Work on that, won't you?)

STEP ONE: Recognize impending sickness as actual sickness, instead of inhaled dustbunnies/overtiredness/psychosomaticality.

STEP TWO: Begin drinking water in a fashion that would put the little fishes to shame.

STEP THREE: Locate and put on every sweater, hat, scarf and pair of socks in my home.

STEP THREE-POINT-ONE: Rock the Babushka look without shame. 

STEP FOUR: Wrap up in blanket (in addition to all other clothes) and try to kill the germs with heat and fluids.

STEP FIVE: Once sweat>germs, shower and resume normal activity.

I found myself in Prime Babushka Territory this morning, as I bundled into my jeans and socks and double-layered sweater and oversized wool scarf (that I wrapped around my head in a babushka-esque fashion).

Just like this.**3

Boyfriend of Amazingness probably made a funny comment about how I looked like an old Polish grandmama...

But I wouldn't know, because I was in the Ultimate Self-Swaddle Of Anti-Sickness.

By tomorrow, you won't even recognize me for my awesome healthfulness.


**1 I think that should be on the doctor's Pain Scale. Somewhere between a 2 and a 3 - just enough to throw off your game, but not enough to make you take the horse pills that would be prescribed if you actually hauled yourself into the doctor's office.**2

**2 You should check out Ali's "A Better Pain Scale" at Hyperbole and a Half. Because it's totally awesome, too.

**3  Photo Credit: http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/neverallthere/default/babushka-kitties--large-msg-118064581823.jpg


SERIOUSNOTE: No, ReaderFriends, the significance of today's date has not escaped my notice. However, I decided to approach this 11th anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks in the same fashion which I have been trying to approach the rest of this year: With a little sparkle. By bringing in a little light, and recognizing that, no matter the situation, there is a glimmer of hope to be found. I still urge you to find a sense of togetherness with your fellow Americans. Go volunteer somewhere. Attend a religous service, if that suits you. Share a smile or a hug with a stranger. Give a pint of blood to help save lives into the future. There are always ways to remember, and I definitely think you should. Don't dwell... don't fester... don't hold on to anger... just remember.

Cuppycake

I don't feel well today.

It's as though the dustbunnies I spent the weekend stirring up have all found a new domicile within my sinus cavity.

So instead of being witty, I offer you this picture of my morning cuppycake instead.



Mondays are always better with frosting.



Montage

Dear ReaderFriends:


I am sorry for the sustained radio silence. I have been fighting a cold, and have been having to take care of some unsightly work during my lunchtimes at work. Which is totally bumming me out.


I promise, I'm trying to find something clever to say. It'll come, eventually.


In the meantime... Thank you for checking in. I do appreciate you.


Meanwhile, here is a photo montage of my life of late, which have absolutely nothing to do with EngineerFriends:

Because coworkers deserve a warning for these things.

Boyfriend of Amazingness built this. And I helped.

This was my lunch. The herbivores didn't stand a chance.

I made this. Boyfriend picked the button. We = A Good Team.

I am now a bespectacled personage. They're purple.

Be well, ReaderFriends.