New and Exciting

Indeed, that is the name of the game today: "New and Exciting."

Because Boyfriend of Amazingness and I have embarked upon a New and Exciting Journey, wherein we welcomed a New and Exciting Houseguest to join our family.

No, we are not procreating...

No, we've not randomly welcomed a vagabond into our home and decided to keep him as a permanent fixture, between the lamp and the bookcase in the library...

No. Instead, we've welcomed a four-legged youngster to our home, and he's decided that it might be okay to stay.

After a whirlwind adoption process,**1 Friday marked the day that 44 pounds of fur, drool and snuggles took up residence on our living room couch.

And on the kitchen floor.

And on the bed.

And just about everywhere else in the house. (Well... everywhere except the craft room. Craft rooms are full of things that Young Masters would find shiny and delicious, and there's no need for yakked-up piles of crayon to become my new decorating scheme.)

So, over the past few days, everything has been an adventure.

No, seriously...

Everything.

You're going to go pee? Let me come watch. I'll rest my head on your leg, and make sure you're okay in this weird little room on your weird little throne.

You're going to pour yourself a glass of lemonade? Let me stick my head in the refrigerator and make sure there's nothing out-of-the-ordinary. For good measure, I'll lick the bottle. Yeah... I think you'll be okay if you drink this.

You're going to sit on the couch? Why, I think that sounds fabulous. Let me just... oops, that was your face I just hit with my tail, and your squishy middle bit feels funny under my feet. So sorry, just trying to get to the optimized seating area between you and The Important One.**2 Won't take me but a moment more... here's a kiss for your troubles.

What will tomorrow bring?

Only he knows.

**1 When I say whirlwind, I mean that this makes Dorothy's tornado seem tame. We sent in an application and a lighthearted request for additional information on Tuesday, thinking that (at best) we might be able to schedule a short meet-and-greet over the weekend, if he hadn't alreay gone to a Forever Home. By noon Wednesday, the shelter called to inform us that we were approved and they wanted to know when we'd be retrieving the young master to bring him home. After a short session of flailing our arms and saying "But we haven't even met him yet!", we decided that Boyfriend of Amazingness would check out the situation on Friday morning, at his earliest convenience, and see if it might work out. By the time I arrived home from work on Friday afternoon, we were Proud Puppy Parents. Now that, my ReaderFriends, is a whirlwind.

**2 How I imagine the Young Master refers to Boyfriend of Amazingness. I am The Tolerable One. He is The Important One. It's a Man-And-Beast bonding thing. My lack of dangling bits in the middle means that I simply wouldn't understand.

It's Not Just Me...

To: All Employees

From: Sunny

Subject: Men's Room Shenanigans

Hi All,

The electrician is just leaving. He was unable to fix the fan today, and will be back at 11:30 tomorrow morning to continue with his adventure. Until then, please feel free to use some of the extra binder clips in case of emergency.

Thanks!

 

*Sunny

 

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To: Sunny

From: EngineerFriend

Subject: RE: Men's Room Shenanigans

 

What are the binder clips for?  Stop them from having to pee?

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To: EngineerFriend

From: Sunny
Subject: RE: Men's Room Shenanigans

 

For the stink!

 

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To: Sunny

From: EngineerFriend

Subject: RE: Men's Room Shenanigans

Okay, better.  I thought that was one cold-hearted corporate directive...

   

Desperate Measures

Dear Custodian,

I thank you wholeheartedly for all you do. For realsies - My maternal unit was a custodian for a time, and I know it's grueling (often thankless) work. I appreciate that you keep the food situation under my desk at a minimum so that livestock doesn't take up residence. And I appreciate that you conquer my trashcan on a nightly basis. No small feat, I know.

However, there is one topic of conversation I would like to bring up:

Toilet paper.

I am familiar with the Custodial Arsenal of Tools. So I know that, along with your Keyring of Epic Unlocking and your Awesome Mop Bucket with Water Extractor, you are also equipped with sharp objects. Pointy objects. Things that can make clean incisions at a moment's notice and without terrible to-do.

So perhaps the next time you install a fresh roll of toilet paper**1, you could whip out that handy little Object of Sharpness and start the first sheet cleanly. Because, honestly... there is nothing more infuriating than that obnoxious little adhesived piece that I must claw at like a monkey rabid with desperation in order to attend to what must be tended. I'm not getting anywhere with a shredded pile of tacky two-ply.

Thank you again for being made of awesome.

Grins,
Sunny

**1 Not that I'm complaining about that, mind you. I think you are the BEST at that, and I thank you for your diligence in keeping our supply ever-ready for any emergency.