But that wouldn't be funny or witty, and honestly I wouldn't want to read it if I were a visitor to a blog... so I'm not going to write it.
Instead, I'm going to make up a story.
One evening, in the not-too-terribly-distant past, Our Heroine embarked upon a grueling journey.
She departed from the safe cocoon of conditioned air at her Place of Gainful Employment and trudged wearily out into the city air.
The humidity was so thick that the air was pungent with the smell of warm salt water and overheated bodies.
"Ick," thought Our Heronie to herself.
Then she said "Ick" out loud, just for whomever might be listening.
Indulging in a hearty sigh, she walked slowly towards her chariot, treading sweatily through the thick, moist air.
She collapsed into her carriage and dumped her parcels upon the seat beside her.
"Double Ick," she announced with a grimace, for the conditions inside were doubly sticky from outside the confines of her transport.
With haste, Our Heroine spurred her horses to life and roared towards home.
As the wind rushed into the open windows, the stickiness began to abate.
Our Heroine was not appeased.
"Methinks," she thought, "that a frosty beverage is in order."
With absolutely no ado whatsoever, she headed directly to Ye Olde Departmente Store for supplies therefore.
Her provisions sought and collected, she again made haste to her chariot and again departed homeward.
With anticipation, she sped quickly to her destination.
(But not so quickly as to catch the eye of the local patrol. She's not foolish, after all.)
Having arrived at her domicile, Our Heroine lost no time in making the preparations for her refreshment.
One, two, three went the mint leaves into the glass.
Mash, mash, mash went the muddler against the leaves.
Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle went the sugar over the mint.
Splish, splash, splish went the soda and the rum.
Shake, shake, shake went the concoction in the shaker.
Ka-BOOM! Went the agitated soda, spraying sticky sugar-mint water all around the kitchen.
And so did Sunny learn her lesson about vehement beverage-making after a long, grueling day.