Yo Ho Ho...

Ahoy, me hearties!

Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

In celebration, I thought about writing you a Pirate Song, but then wasn't certain how it would be received since I can't actually sing it for you. (Not for lack of technology... I mean I really can't sing.)

I thought about writing you a Pirate Story, but couldn't get past "Ahoy, me hearties!" and thus thought that the creative juices were opposed to that idea.

I thought about writing you a Pirate Play, but then had a little trouble getting out of the scene-setup and into the actual dialogue.

And so, I decided that a fun, unobtrusive List Of Excitement might be in order today.

For your reading pleasure, I present to you:

CAPTAIN SUNNY SMILES' PIRATE CODE

~When, in cases of disagreement, an accord cannot be reached: The Captain is always right.

~When, in cases of disagreement, an accord is reached which is converse to the Captain's wishes: The Captain is even more right.

~All snacks are to be evenly distributed amongst the EngineerHearties; HOWEVER, Captain Sunny must get her equal portion before all the EngineerHearties take all the best bits.

~ When any EngineerHearty is caught saying mean/derogatory/stoopid things, they will be keelhauled.

~When any EngineerHearty is caught taking the last doughnut without carte blanche from The Captain, they will be made to walk the plank.

~When any EngineerHearty is caught taking *half* of the last doughnut, they will be keelhauled and THEN made to walk the plank.

~When it is Sea-Shanty Sing-A-Long Time, all EngineerHearties *must* take part. This is not a request.

~All grievances may be settled by payment to Sunny in Gold Dubloons (preferably the kind with chocolate in the middle). Keelhauling, plank-walking and shark-feeding may still commence, at whim.

NOONTIME NOMZ

DrafterFriend: Is it really only ten o'clock in the morning? I feel like I've been here for hours...

Sunny: You have.

DrafterFriend: Right, I know, but like *lots* of hours. I wish there were a fast forward so the day could be over faster.

<pause>

But then I would need a rewind too, you know, to go back...

<pause>

And a pause button. Definitely a pause button.

Sunny: But if you hit pause, wouldn't you be stuck forever? If you stopped the world, and you're *in* the world, you would stop too...

Drafter Friend: Oh, right...

Sunny: <on a roll> Yeah, definitely. And then you'd be stuck there forever. But would you *know* that it's forever? Or would you just exist?

DrafterFriend: <startled> Umm, right... <backs away>

Sunny: <remains on tangent> You just wouldn't know. You'd be stuck there forever. An eternal loop of pause...