Sweet Spot

Every building has an acoustic "sweet spot." 

Not, as you might think, the spot from which your voice sounds most amazing and announcer-like (although one must admit that room dynamics MUST have something to do with Old Spice Man's *fantastic* vocal carriage)...

No. 

In fact, I'm talking about the spot from which you can *hear* everything.

In one of my hometown libraries, this spot is directly on top of the StoryTime table. The table is just slightly off-center under a barrel ceiling, and being in proximity to the Sweet Spot means that you can hear every crackle of the old patron's wheezing, every swish of the librarians corduroy pants and every sniffle of the drippy-faced child playing with the well-loved castle playset. 

(Sidenote: I realized the intensity of this Sweet Spot as I was trying to learn poi while standing on top of this table. The rest of the library was empty, other than my teacher and the librarian... who had given us a full "go ahead" with the project ((with the caveat that if one of us fell, she was NOT going to clean it up.)) and was looking blissfully in the other direction.)

In my car, this is the driver's seat. From that position, every note that passes my lips sounds as if it were plucked from the golden lips of a spring songbird. I can sing along to any song - even in harmony - and put forth only the highest quality of sound from my perfect form.

And at work... It's at the back desk.

The Back Desk is the third of three desks at the Reception Area. 

The first desk, of course, is mine. It is in the closest proximity to the elevator and the lunch room, and is therefore ideal for people watching (but is almost always too far detatched from the action to provide optimum listening-in on goings-on.)

The second desk sits beside me, across an aisle, and is reserved for "Reception Back-Up." When I'm supremely busy, when my coworkers want to chat or when I'm out of the office, those others who are qualified (and consider themselves worthy - not above my lowly position) will take the helm and lead us fearlessly into battle from this station. But, it's just on the opposite side of a fake wall from a huge (and horridly chatty) CopierDemon.** And that's not entirely ideal either. Between the chatter around the copier, and the chatter OF the copier, it's kind of like trying to listen to what your parents are saying on Christmas Eve after they've sent you to bed "in anticipation of Santa" when they've turned up the volume on the Christmas movie that they won't let you watch and started talking about your presents. Especially the one they forgot to get you.

But anyway.

Point being, it's hard to hear from that one.

But from the Back Desk...

If you stand in just the right spot, you hit acoustic *gold.*

So, you're sitting at the Back Desk. And you're kind of bored, because you're finished with your "real" work for the day and the phone's been dead for hours (hypothetically, of course... I would never admit to down time for realsies...) and you decide that maybe there'll be something exciting behind the bookcase. Because, usually, bookcases have exciting things behind them.

So you stand in the corner and lean a little.

And realize that you can hear the whispered phone conversation next to the copier.

I don't know what it is about this spot. As I mentioned before, the Second Desk is almost drowned in noise from the accursed beast, and you can't hear what the person in front of you is saying (much less what the person on the other side of the wall, standing next to the stupid thing is whispering to her neighbor about). But from next to that bookcase, it was clear as day. The machine trucking along like it was its job, the computer beside me whirring and a page over the intercom, and still - as if they were whispering to me - I could hear...

"Did you see her makeup today? What a mess!"

Well. Maybe some whispers are better off unheard.

**No, seriously. It talks all the time. blah-blah-blah-JAM-blah-blah-BEEEP-blah-blah-blah-blah-CRUMPLEPAPER-blah.

Sunny and the Copier Demon

Once upon a time, in an office far, far away...

-{Like really far, and away from all the things...}-

There was a beautiful, intelligent and extraordinarily modest Receptionist named Sunny.

Sunny was the best receptionist in all the land.

-{Except she would never say so. She was far too modest for that.}-

Sunny loved her job and the people who worked with her, for they were all very sweet and very kind and only said nice, intelligent things.

And sometimes they would all break into spontaneous song together.

-{Like a musical, but better because they would sing about real-life stuff, like how the coffee was cold and the fan in the men's room was broken.}-

And other days they would play dress-up, and Sunny would be their Queen.

-{But like a nice one. Not the mean kind that orders beheadings and stuff.}-

But sometimes, when it got really boring, they just worked.

-{This was mostly when someone was watching.}-

And the EngineerFriends would engineer...

And the DrafterFriends would draft...

And Sunny would tootle about to make sure everything ran smoothly.

Sometimes she would do the filing.

-{When she did this, she would put away every piece of paper... sometimes even an important one with a phone number on it that she had written down quickly, but then forgotten what she wrote it on so when she needed to find it there was a little bit of a hassle because it could have been anywhere in the silly cabinets...}-

Sometimes she answered the phones.

-{And when she did this, she was very peppy and happy even when it wasn't a musical day because the clients were always considerate and friendly and fun to talk to.}-

And sometimes, if it was a very *very* good day, she would do invoicing.

-{Because invoicing was something that she really enjoyed, and she liked to celebrate it properly on only very *very* good days.}-

One day, Sunny was walking around her office singing softly to the plants (to achieve optimum lush- and green-i-ness, as was common with her superior gardening skills and powers of foliage), when she heard her phone ring.

"Sunny?" a voice called out. "Sunny, are you there?"

"I'm here!" Sunny bubbled to the speakerphone. "How can I help you?"

"Our copier downstairs has broken, and you're the only person in the whole world who knows how to fix it! Please, oh please, won't you come and help us?" pleaded the voice.

"Of course!" Sunny smiled wide (but they couldn't see that, because they were on the phone) and ended the call.

Down the stairs Sunny swooped, humming merrily as she descended flight after flight of stairs to go rescue the EngineerFriends from their plight.

-{As she swooped, she thought about getting a cape... But decided that would be far too ostentatious, and so she settled for swishing her hair mightily instead.}-

Sunny arrived in the copy room with a flourish. "Ta da!" she announced. "I'm here!"

And all the EngineerFriends applauded her grand entrance, for they were very afraid of the CopierDemon.

-{Sunny was a little afraid too, but she could be brave. Or at least braver than the Engineers.}-

Indeed, the copier tried to be very scary:

It flashed its red lights...

...It growled an angry growl...

...And every time Sunny touched it, it destroyed another piece of paper.

But she would not be dismayed!

She pushed the buttons!

She restocked paper drawers!

But still the CopierDemon would not submit.

It's flashy lights flashed brighter!

It's angry growl got angrier!

And now, it started destroying two pieces of paper every time Sunny touched it.

The crowd started getting more anxious. Sunny had never let them down before... But this battle was very intense!

Finally, Sunny decided that she had played the CopierDemon's silly games for long enough.

With a mighty pull of her strong (but not grotesquely muscled) arm, she opened the belly of the beast.

And then, with a smile to her audience, she plunged in her hand.

First to the wrist...

Then to the elbow...

Down, down, down into the deepest darkest corners she reached.

Finally, when there was no arm left to be plunged-in, Sunny felt something at her fingertips.

She stretched out her fingers as far as they would go, reaching in as far as she could.

And then suddenly, she screamed!

-{But not very loud, because this was an office first-and-foremost and Sunny was a respectful sort of person who thought about others and didn't want to disturb anyone who might be working, even though they should have been watching her amazing act of bravery.}-

"Oh no!" she cried.

"Oh no!" gasped the crowd.

-{Which was silly, because they couldn't possibly have known what they were gasping about.}-

The tension grew thicker and thicker as the crowd fell to silence.

Was Sunny okay?

With a worried grimace she bit her lip, and slowly began to pull her arm free of the beast.

First to her elbow...

Then to her wrist...

And then finally...

After many moments...

-{Many MANY moments...}-

Out came her hand!

-{And the thing she had grabbed, which was an errant piece of paper in case you were wondering. It was all crinkly and wrinkled and gross, but Sunny didn't mind because of her remarkable bravery and amazingness.}-

Sunny was okay!

The crowd broke into smiles and started to cheer.

Sunny had saved the day!

And the EngineerFriends rejoiced.

One of them even made a hat for Sunny out of the errant piece of paper, which she thought was very thoughtful but she didn't think she would wear because it was crinkly and wrinkly and gross... But she said thank you anyway, and told the EngineerFriend that she would keep it in a very special place because it was a very special hat.

And that was the tale of How Sunny Saved The Day.