Public Service Announcement to the Ample Chested Cleptomaniac
I understand that smuggling drinks is tricky business. You have to wait for just the right moment - when the local Patrol isn't looking - and make your move.
However, perhaps there's a better way to go about retrieving your loot than to hug it tightly to your chest. You see, as a Woman of Moderate Proportion, you have chest aplenty to hug before you load yourself down with pilfered whistle-wetters. Almost anything would work... Might I suggest a small basket, a la Red Riding Hood?
I only suggest it because, as you're clutching your bosom and squeaking "It's falling! It's falling!", you leave me little choice but to giggle and watch you sort yourself out.
Because, really, what else could I do? Rush forward and make a grab for it?
Right. That could only end well.