Fish Gotta Swim, Birds Gotta Fly...

And sometimes, grumpy old women just need to find the negative in everything that is said.

Today I find myself struggling not to be angry with my local GOW, but instead just trying to give her a wide berth.

No, ReaderFriend... practicing kindness instead doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

You see... this woman can find negativity in a compliment. (Or, barring her discovery of any existing negativity, she'll create some by twisting your words to suit her means.)

And then she portrays you as a monster to people who cannot possibly get a different view of the story.

Which means that, despite your best efforts and your tireless attempts to be a kind person... Somewhere out there is a group of people who just don't care to see you that way.

Their minds will not be changed, so don't waste energy trying...

Instead, save that energy and put it towards someone who will be touched by kindness.

But do spare just a moment to acknowledge how dark and lonely the world must be for people who chose to live in that shroud of negativity.

I just can't imagine making that choice.

SO:

Instead of wallowing in self-pity about being portrayed as an evil shmuck, I'll instead wish you all a Happy Post-Christmas Day Of Recovery. I hope you have minimal sugar crashes, naps aplenty and lots of new toys to keep you amused.

And, if you had to go to work today (like I did...), I hope that you at least got to wear a cool new tee-shirt that someone got you as a gift.



Thank you for my new shirt, Seester!
(And the ThinkGeek that made it possible.)



Sunny's Top Ten Buzzwords...

...that send her into an automatic, irreversable, hot-headed, fire-breathing, blood-boiling  rage:

* That's not my problem.

* Don't worry about it.

* Chill out.

* You don't understand.

* Don't go there with me.

* What's your problem?

* Just take care of it.

* I can't...

* You have to...

* Whatever.

And when I cool my head down, stop my nasal steaming and I've brought myself down to a healthy simmer... I'll give you the witty background and even some helpful ways around Poking The Beast. Which would be particularly helpful for the knucklehead who has aimed nine of these ten terms in my direction over the past three days.

But for today... I will stay mad.

And offer you this tidbit:

Public Service Announcement to Today's Local Asshole:

No one should ever be a face breather. It's gross.

But it's even more gross when you're a smoker.

In addition, fuck you.

Without Any Respect Whatsoever (Which Is Still More Than You Showed Me),

Sunny

And... Check

Remember when I was a wild-eyed stressmonkey right before my summer vacation?

The past week has been more of that... but without the fun 'Going On Vacation' part to look forward to.

See... I'm volunteering my organizational skills as a Wrangler of Wardrobes for a local dance production set to premier its tenth anniversary Christmas show in the middle of December. My home is littered with costume pieces in various states of completion.

And Boyfriend of Amazingness is getting ready to compete this weekend in a medieval tournament wherein he actually has the potential to win the right to crown himself prince - and myself princess - of our fair Kingdom. So my home is also littered with Ye Olde Clothings that I've been rushing to complete so we can look presentable when we make our appearance before the current king and queen on Saturday.

And Halloween is coming up. I cannot be Batman without a little extra assistance in the clothing department.

But I've also got dance classes.

And dates with friends.

And somewhere in my schedule I'm supposed to find time to eat and sleep.

I was feeling pretty frantic.

So yesterday, I got sick.

Not a headcold, but more of a Worry-Yourself-Into-A-Tizzy.

I had been sick to my stomach for days...

And I wasn't sleeping...

And Boyfriend of Amazingness was thinking about having me tranquilized and put in a padded box.**1

So I took eight hours of sick time and got All The Things done.

• (2) Cloaks; created
• (1) Chemise; hemmed
• (3) Costume skirts; assembled
• (2 sets) Costume legs; assembled
• (1) Batman costume; completed
• (1) Boyfriend of Amazingness costume; completed
• Miscellaneous shopping; completed

And to top it off... I folded two loads of laundry before I left for work this morning.**2

So I'm feeling pretty jazzed about how much Ta-Da is reflecting on my To-Do list.

Which can lead me to feel pretty silly.

(I swear, I have a work-related point in here somewhere.)

Which is probably why I erupted into a fit of The Giggles when a client called in to talk to an EngineerFriend, and I said "I'll put you right through."

I imagined myself going all Hulkette and tossing the client straight up through the ceiling and into the cubicle of the person they were calling.

Which led me to this:

Photo Courtesy of Family Guy.

And how can you not giggle when you think of the Kool-Aid Man busting all up through your workplace?!

The EngineerFriends wouldn't know what to do.

(I, of course, would give him a high five and invite him out for a drink.)

**1 If you're reading this, honey... You don't have to deny it. I was thinking about locking me up, too.

**2 Boyfriend of Amazingness does our laundry. From pick-it-up-off-the-floor-where-I-discarded-it-in-a-pre-sleep-shamble to bring-the-laundry-basket-full-of-clean-clothes-back-upstairs-to-the-bedroom. All I have to do is fold it and leave it on the bed, and then we both put our stuff away before we go to sleep. Suck it, Every-Other-Girl-In-The-Universe. He's all mine.

Yours, Awkwardly...

As One-Who-Watches-Over-The-Engineering-Folk, I have certain hobbies that come with the territory. They ooze into my personality and, before I know it, I'm talking publicly about my relationship with Pi.

Now, much of my personality came from my own personal territory - what I learned growing up. My parents watched Star Trek and Star Wars. They taught me about what culture they could (<hem-hem> Dukes of Hazard... <hem-hem> The A-Team... you see where we're going with this.) And then I adopted culture of my own as an adult. I'm particularly fond of The Big Bang Theory. If Penny can do it, so can I.

Thus, on occasion, I find myself subscribing to e-mails from websites that I just had to join.

Like ThinkGeek.

And the little love note they sent me today, which is right up the alley of many an EngineerFriend that tried to have a real conversation with an outsider...

Hi, Sunny!

How are you? How's the family? When do the hugs start? Now? No?

Sorry; maybe that was too much. September is International People Skills Month so we're just buffing our social Dexterity and Charisma. We've got a ways to go before we level up.

Let's get to it the old-fashioned internet way, then: You have <rewards!>, and we've updated our list of redeemables below. There. That was so much easier without the smalltalk--and no threat of hugs!

Yours, awkwardly,

--ThinkGeek Monkeys