9-1-1

Public Service Announcement

Regarding 'High Importance' E-Mails

HOLD YOUR HORSES. Put down the phone. Push away from your keyboard. Close your mouth and sit still, for goodness sake.

You’re communicating my brains out. And to what end? 

I saw your e-mail marked “High Importance”



Worst. Button. Ever.



about some cockamamie issue that you - Grand Poo-Bah Crieswolf Allatime - has escalated to a CRISIS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. And now, because of this earth shattering conundrum, I'm required to drop everything and settle you down.

If I didn't do that to your liking, I'm terribly sorry.

However, the appropriate chain of events here would be:

1) Indulge in your crisis.

2) Allow me to settle the crisis for you as you pace about my office making helpful comments about how I should do your job.

3) Move on.

The appropriate chain of events is most certainly never:

1) Indulge in your crisis.

1a) E-mail me about your crisis

1b) Call me to tell me that you e-mailed me about your crisis.

1c) Ignore my statement about "handling another situation right now" in favor of summing up your e-mail over the phone.

1d) Walk into my cube and proceed to pace back and forth in the doorway until you see me check your e-mail.

2) Allow me to settle your crisis for you as you pace about my cube making helpful comments about how I should do your job, and (while you're at it) how I should do my own job when I get back to it.

3) Walk back to your own cube to find an e-mail from someone else involved with your project; the verbage in which completely negates my entire involvement.

Believe it or not, I'm desperate to send you some communication of my own.

Respectfully as You Deserve (RaYD),

Sunny