Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Sticky Side Out

This has been a remarkably quiet week in the office. No one is on vacation, no major office systems are malfunctioning... What's an admin to do with all this quiet?

Well, this particular admin pulls herself up by the mental bootstraps and forges onward in the best way she knows: By cleaning.

Yes, it got so dull today that I tidied up my desk.

And amidst the clutter of half-used Post-It notes (half used in that I have only written on the bottom, and then torn the bottom off so the sticky bit remains to be written on), dead pens and mutilated paperclips, I found something remarkable:

Four rolls of duct tape.

Yes, four.

Now I consider myself to be a resourceful girl. I am never without my duct tape. I have a roll at home, a roll in my car, and apparently a large stash of it at work (To the delight and amazement of my coworkers, who are ill-prepared and often approach me sheepishly to borrow some). However, my recent discovery leads me to believe that I'm doing something wrong.

Not in the fact that I have acquired so much duct tape. No, I feel that preparedness is definitely the answer here. If suddenly my chair loses its seat, I need to be ready to fix the problem. Likewise if I find myself hurtling down the stairs and wind up mangled, a system must be in place for that awful Before-The-Ambulance waiting period. No, my problem lies more in the fact that I haven't done anything with it.

Two of the rolls (Yes, TWO!) are completely unopened. This goes against everything I've ever been taught. The virgin strip off of a new roll of duct tape is sacred, and should be treasured (and then used for something amazing). To have two rolls completely encased in their shrink-wrap packaging is almost sacrilege.

My solution was to spend a thrilling half hour researching different applications for duct tape within an office setting... Listed here, for your enjoyment.

PLEASE NOTE: There are three requirements for these applications:

1) DUCT TAPE
2) Time and patience. 
(Usually found when the victim is in a meeting, or the restroom if one is quick and agile.)

3) An understanding set of coworkers 
(or, barring this option, a dislike for ones office so ingrained as to approach blatant contempt for your continued employment).


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From "The Duct Tape Practical Joker" 
(http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/joker/index.html)


<Note: I didn't fix their grammar... But I wanted to.>

Sinking Chairs  
Here is a fun (and safe) prank to pull on co-workers in an office setting. Most office dwellers have chairs that use a pneumatic piston to control the height. They are also designed to use a persons weight to effect the downward adjustment. While your coworkers are away from their desk, take a strip of duct tape and tape the height adjusting lever to the bottom of the seat. This effectively locks the piston into adjust mode. When they sit down, their weight will cause the chair to bottom out quickly. The looks of utter confusion are priceless. Extra points to brave individuals who pull this one on their boss. 
--- Blame John Callicotte

The Duct Tape Wall.  

This works well for college pranks and in general with doors that open inward to the poor person being trapped inside. Cover the entire doorway (or at least a significant amount of it) with duct tape so that when the occupant inside opens thier door all they see is a sticky wall of duct tape they must get through somehow. A funny 'Got ya' sign stuck to the inside of the wall before the the walls completion also adds some humor.


Carcooning 

Gather a lot of cling wrap and a lot of duct tape (*remember if you spare the duct tape you spare the job or prank). Next One wraps their "victims" car in the cling wrap (so you don't apply the tape directly to paint) then uses the duct tape to wrap the car in a sort of duct tape cocoon. It works and you just sit back and laugh while it takes them forever to get there car out. 
--- Blame Mark from W.Va.


Bathroom Water Issues 

Go to one of those bathrooms that have sensor toilets and put a peace of duct tape over the sensor so that toilet never flushes,or put it over the sensor on the sink so the water is always on.
--- Blame Kyle H.

<Sunny's Original Thought: Don't leave the water running too long. It makes the fish sad.>
 

Mouse Troubles 

For coworkers or friends who use computers often. Put a strip of duct tape over the mouse ball or optical sensor on a computer mouse. when they try to use the mouse, it won't work. 
--- Blame Bruce


Desk Drawer Dilemma 

Duct tape is real handy for driving your co-workers, or better yet, your boss, nuts. Only a few feet are needed to tape someone's center desk drawer shut around the edges of the two sides and the back. It's doubly exciting if the drawer is just slightly open so that the victim can tell that the drawer can't be locked, but can't immediately see or feel what is holding the drawer shut if the tape doesn't cover the entire length of the drawer. At the same time it doesn't do any permanent damage to the furniture. Works best in conditions of reduced light. Avoid doing this to anyone who may have a bad back. The drawer pulling response can get really vigorous. 
--- Blame goes to Charles S.


Tire Sniper  

Get some Bubble Wrap® with one inch bubbles (at most office supply stores or in dumpsters behind gift shops). cut a strip about a eighteen inches long and the width of a tire. Tape this to the tread of the front wheel of a parked car. When the car starts moving, the resultant popping sounds like a machine gun.


<Sunny's Original Thought: This could also be exciting when applied underneath the mat that a computer chair rolls across.>

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Did you know that Duck Brand duct tape has "Duck Tape Ducktivities"?
(http://www.duckbrand.com/Duck%20Tape%20Club/ducktivities/school-and-office.aspx) 

Such clever activities as a duct tape bookmark, wallet, or pen! Classy, creative ways to kill a few dull minutes at your desk for sure.

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From "101 Uses for Duct Tape (Plus or Minus 70 or 80) 
(http://www.thezac.com/ducttape/)

<Note: I only listed the ones that have any sort of application in an office. There are hundreds of great ideas, but we needn't be too wordy here!>

- Tape wires down on floor or out of the way.
- Fix broken book binding.

- Reinforce pages in 3-ring binder.

- Fold in half and use as bookmark.

- Disk labels.

- Taping annoying people <read: coworkers> to walls, floor, ceiling, or bed.

- Mute function for humans.

- Sealing envelopes (in case you hate the taste of envelope glue).

- Make the stapler obsolete!

- Fix printer.

- Hold file cabinet together.

- Note cards.

- Remove lint from clothes.

- Wrap a soda can or bottle in duct tape to keep it cold.

- Repair pantyhose.

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There must be hundreds of uses for duct tape within an office setting. At current, I am ashamed to say that the only application of duct tape in my immediate vicinity is the trim on the edge of my desk that I've wrapped to avoid the installation of any additional splinters into my thin and pasty flesh. But I'm feeling clever... Who knows what I'll come up with?

<FINAL NOTE: When I wrote this, I was at work. I am currently home, and found myself in need of duct tape over the course of the evening to craft a Clever Cupcake Carrying Console (TM) for some noshable nommeries. My work here is done.>

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