Have you ever had one of those moments when something incredibly epic happened, but you kept it to yourself because you knew that sharing it *right then* wouldn't get the response you needed... So instead you save that little epic tidbit for yourself until you can find the appropriate moment to pop it into the limelight. But then life happens, and your epic little tidbit becomes obsolete, so instead of getting less of a response, it gets no response at all because it never saw any light at all.
Yeah, just like that.
That was my week last week.
I arrived in the office on Tuesday morning feeling refreshed and ready to go after a lovely three-day weekend. I was high on barbeque and happy times with loved ones, so I felt prepared for anything my EngineerFriends could toss at me. Unfortunately, I was unprepared for what my slumlord property owner had in mind for the week.
Now I complain a lot about my office. Feeling uncomfortable on the inside is almost a constant state of being... But I almost never have the willies (except when that spider crawled across my desk... ew...) and almost never feel in real danger.
Last week, this was not the case. As I walked into the office on Tuesday morning, it was 78 degrees (Fahrenheit) at my desk. By lunchtime it was 84 degrees, and by 2:30 p.m. it had peaked at 87 degrees (where it stayed until I went home, sweating and stinking and grumping about). I considered blogging about my experience, but knew that it would only get warmer through the week and didn't want to steal my own thunder.
Wednesday saw a slight decrease in temperature with the impending Thunderstorms of Doom, which I did expect. The temperature only peaked at 84, which was high enough so I disliked holding the phone to my head but not so high that I was sticking to my keys as I typed. (Much to the delight of Social Networking friends, I found myself drawing comparisons to a cookie in an oven, because I refused to admit that I had sunk to an even more literal version of office hell.) I considered blogging about events that day, but instead chose to find some bright spot by taking a peek into the world of EngineerFriend Habits (and, with only mild prompting, adventuring to my Friendly Local Home Improvement Warehouse to find devices to assure that my living quarters remained livable instead of becoming a sweltering pit of despair.)
But on Thursday, I thought for sure I would have some decent material. The temperature climbed again, and I was settling in to my newly found pattern of type-a-paragraph, hydrate, type-another-paragraph, hydrate more when - lo and behold! - two scruffy men in scruffy shirts with their piles of equipment came bundling into the office and started puttering with everything. "No!" I thought. "I haven't written yet!" But my story was not to be told.
By 3 p.m., we had cool air again and the temperature at my desk plummeted from the 83 of lunchtime to a comfortable 77 by the time I went home for the evening. Distressed, I attempted to find the energy to pull together a blog post... But instead I sought solace in a pack of Klondike bars and took my frustrations out on some laundry.
And thusly, we reach the point in this story where it seems foolish to tell my tale at all. Friday was blissful. It was cool and quiet and calm in the office. I had nothing to complain about, and it seemed my story was destined never to see the light of day. I considered a "Summation of my Week" post, but instead spent the day frantically pulling together pieces of paper for a personal project. And so began my crazy hectic weekend, which left me not even enough time to summarize, much less pull together this morning's "Breakfast Bites."
So today, I initiate a new tradition: Noontime Noms!
Last week was slightly less eventful, with fewer witticisms (but quality, my dearhearts... Oh, the quality...) from those EngineerFriends I know and love... Such expulsions as
"'Your baby is so cute...' 'I already paid for it...' 'I'll see you in church...'" [In response to "The A/C will be fixed today, they promise..."]
"Can you put it to voishmayow? My mouf ish full." [Translation: Can you direct the irate client delicately into my voicemail box? My mouth is full of something so delightful that to spit it out would be an abomination against food... And I have no interest in dealing with that angry guy so I need you to do it for me.]
"Cute pigtails. Can I pull on them??" [Not nearly as shudder-inducing as the lewd gesture performed by another Dear EngineerFriend behind the back of the first, who hadn't realized what he had said. This, by far, was the largest snafu I've encountered. It brought to mind an old cartoon I had encountered once that described praising women in the office as an easy task: "Nothing says 'Job well done' like a firm, open palmed slap on the behind!"*]
"Talk to you later, Mermaid." [This was my favorite. One of my EngineerFriends who I actually deem a friend is a really fun guy with a fantastic sense of humor. He informed me that he had been trying for ages to remember to tell me that my name had a direct Polish-to-English translation, which promptly made my day.]
And so ends my sojourn through the last week in my beloved office. I start fresh today, collecting bon mots aplenty to brighten your week with a Sunny Smile.
<NOTE: I intended to post this at Noontime Nom Time... but became suddenly entrenched in Real Life... so it didn't happen. Please forgive my tardiness. :)>
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