Thinking Of A Number...

I would SO love to be telepathic. It would be super cool the be all Professor Xavier-esque and know what other people know as it happens. (Well, most of the time. Bathroom thoughts, outside of "Hmm! Pretty tile pattern!" aren't really my idea of a good time.)

However, it is not yet a reality. I don't have a mutated X-gene, and they haven't developed technology to bring me to that pinnacle of understanding.

When they do, I hope they keep in mind administrators around the globe who work in Engineering Offices. A key into the mind of the Engineer is, I believe, a crucial tool to administrative career success.

Why is that, you ask?

Because without reading minds, it's almost like pulling teeth to glean the information I need from these people.

The exchange this morning, for instance:

"Do we have any envelopes that my project will fit into?"

My questions at this juncture: 

What is your project? 

What size is the pile of paper? 

Are you mailing, overnight-ing, hand-delivering, or sending by carrier pigeon?

Why can't you be more clear in the first place?

What I really say:

"Okay. This is what I've got."

"Okay... Will it fit in this one?"

My questions at this juncture:

See above, plus

How did you find the *only* legal sized envelope in the entire office?

What I really say:
"I'm not sure. You might be better off with this [oversized, but proportionately so - not weird and legal] one."

"Cool. Can you make me some labels?"

My questions at this juncture:
How many?
Addressed to whom?
Mail? Overnight? Carrier pigeon?
How would you feel if I were this cryptic with you!?

What I really say:
Nothing. I say nothing at this point, because after his last request, EngineerFriend walked away.

And so I wait... take a deep breath... and call his extension after a few lengthy moments to ask if the envelope fit, and if he could send me the addresses to whom he would like his envelopes made out.

I am the bigger person. I am the bigger person. I am the bigger....

Oh, whatever.

Grrr.

**MONDAY NOONTIME NOMS!**

"Impaled people! Woo hoo!" [An addendum to "No matter what happens, something worse is always happening in my book."]

"Hi, Earth & Environmental? Can I talk to the person in charge of humidity? I am NOT happy." [A phone call from the loved-one of an employee who was being witty. Props, though... It was my <notably dry humored> Mum.]

"Good morning. Dry your hair." [Ironic, coming from a bald man...]

"Who says that EngineerFriends aren't exciting? One asked me today what it meant to get 'one of those text message things' from a number they didn't recognize. I explained that it's like a misdial, and that they could have some fun with their response. He said 'Oh, I did. They wrote Hey, Sexy! I responded How's the skin cancer?'"

Have a very Sunny week. :)