Reflections

Recent ramblings about the city have led to some pretty fascinating discussions between my walking compatriot and myself.

As I mentioned previously, walking invigorates a creative part of the mind. Your body engages, you're propelling yourself forward without much thought**1 and your mind is left to ponder some deep ponderings.

Earlier this week, as we were strolling nonchalantly along, our conversation turned to Youthful Contemplations of 'What If.'

We agreed that, for both of us, there were individuals who shaped our lives by being in them and being themselves. Their positive impact was indirect: through watching their struggles, we decided to follow different paths.

Perhaps you've had this happen to yourself.

Somewhere in your life, there might be an Eeyore.

Photo Credit - Etsy, The Rekindled Page

You know what I mean - someone who isn't terribly upsetting to be around, but who just can't seem to see the bright side for the difficult hand they've been dealt.

As a young up-and-comer in the business world, I remember clearly when I met my first Eeyore. She was having a difficult time with her husband, her oldest child was being a monster and she felt trapped in her job and her life. At the time, I thought "So, scoot! Get the hell out of dodge, and find what makes you happy!"

Ah, youth.

So full of answers.**2

Unfortunately, it took many years before I realized that "Get The Hell Out of Dodge" just isn't an option for most Eeyores. They might as well be handcuffed in a closet when they get home at night - they're physically stuck, and cannot be unrooted.

But this stuck isn't a product of their surroundings.

It's a product of their insides.

How many times have you thought "Heck yeah, I'm gonna dye my hair/have popcorn for dinner/join the circus!" just to have that thought dashed by an angry stormcloud of brain-turmoil bubbling in with a veritable rainstorm of "What If's?"

What if I dye my hair and I look silly?
What if my boyfriend doesn't like my new look?
What if? What if? What if?

What if I have popcorn for dinner, and then don't have time for breakfast so I'll be hungry all day?
What if I eat all the popcorn and then my friend calls me to go out for a real dinner?
What if? What if? What if?

These what if's can strangle a body. And strangling is just gross.

But I've found myself in more than one unfortunate What If situation recently. Which made this conversation all the more interesting as it progressed.

Because inevitably, we reached the point where we pondered how our Eeyore's resigned themselves to their fates.

When did they give up, and allow themselves to stay in crappy situations because the What If's were scarier than the What Currently Is's?**3

What if I'm settling into that same routine?

I'm stronger than that. I see what's happening, and it's time that my what if's take a back seat.

I got a life to get on with.

Do you?

**1 Much to the chagrin of passing motorists who are trying to keep you from adorning their front bumper...

**2 The little shits.

**3 Yeah... I know. That's not a clean word. It feels funny. But it's the only way to say what I'm trying to say.