Perspective

I want to write a blog post about how I'm feeling frenzied.

But that wouldn't be funny or witty, and honestly I wouldn't want to read it if I were a visitor to a blog... so I'm not going to write it.

Instead, I'm going to make up a story.

One evening, in the not-too-terribly-distant past, Our Heroine embarked upon a grueling journey.

She departed from the safe cocoon of conditioned air at her Place of Gainful Employment and trudged wearily out into the city air.

The humidity was so thick that the air was pungent with the smell of warm salt water and overheated bodies.

"Ick," thought Our Heronie to herself.

Then she said "Ick" out loud, just for whomever might be listening.

Indulging in a hearty sigh, she walked slowly towards her chariot, treading sweatily through the thick, moist air.

She collapsed into her carriage and dumped her parcels upon the seat beside her.

"Double Ick," she announced with a grimace, for the conditions inside were doubly sticky from outside the confines of her transport.

With haste, Our Heroine spurred her horses to life and roared towards home.

As the wind rushed into the open windows, the stickiness began to abate.

Our Heroine was not appeased.

"Methinks," she thought, "that a frosty beverage is in order."

With absolutely no ado whatsoever, she headed directly to Ye Olde Departmente Store for supplies therefore.

Her provisions sought and collected, she again made haste to her chariot and again departed homeward.

With anticipation, she sped quickly to her destination.

(But not so quickly as to catch the eye of the local patrol. She's not foolish, after all.)

Having arrived at her domicile, Our Heroine lost no time in making the preparations for her refreshment.

One, two, three went the mint leaves into the glass.

Mash, mash, mash went the muddler against the leaves.

Sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle went the sugar over the mint.

Splish, splash, splish went the soda and the rum.

Shake, shake, shake went the concoction in the shaker.

Ka-BOOM! Went the agitated soda, spraying sticky sugar-mint water all around the kitchen.

And so did Sunny learn her lesson about vehement beverage-making after a long, grueling day.

On the Fly

I'm a pretty speedy learner.

It helped me a lot when I was a student, because I needed to supplement the attention my own teachers gave me with attention of my own, as they rarely had time to assist me if my fellow students (who weren't gifted and talented) needed assistance.

Survival of the fittest - I had to be a self-taught learner.

As such, I try to muddle through situations if I have even the slightest understanding of what needs to happen.

Now, on occasion, this can backfire with remarkable power and explusions of light.

For instance, when trying to learn how to cook, it's entirely possible that I set a plethora of paper towels (and one ill-fated cotton dish rag) on fire in the kitchen, and them dumped them into the sink and turned on the faucet because I hadn't any idea how to quell the flames.

But on other occasions, I can look pretty clever.

For instance, those occasions where I teach myself basic HTML in order to get my blog posts out to the masses.

It takes time, for sure... time that's in short order these days, with the impending Two Week Vacation on the horizon.

But at least I don't feel like I'm neglecting you further.

Today is Three Days to Vacation, ReaderFriends! Let's see what fun we can find!

For Everything Else...

Remember those old "Priceless" MasterCard commercials that started back in the late '90s?

They were pretty cute.

It would list some series of expensive items, followed by some monetarily invalid statement about how whatever facet of life was more important than money. The closing statement was "There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard."

This statement came to mind this morning.

The Receptionist's first husband died this morning. It left her feeling very shaken and very upset, although it's a death that has been anticipated for quite some time.

(On a side note, here's hoping that it kicks her in the pants to start being more healthy. She's older than he was, and is in poor health herself.)

So I spent more time than expected covering the front desk today.

Unfortunately, life doesn't come to a stop just because there's a ringing phone to answer. Also on the docket today has been an incredible amount of fixation over the miles-long to do list that's scrolling through my brain.

I have a vacation eeking upon on me, and have been absolutely swamped with moving and with family time lately, so vacation preparations have fallen to the wayside. It's got me pretty frazzled. Also high on the frazzling spectrum**1 was the phone call I received from an irate vendor this morning claiming a repossession charge against us.

The situation unfolded in a frustrating fashion, and before we hung up the phone I had told the woman "Do you think I'm just going to whip out my personal credit card and take care of this here? That's not how it works, honey." She stammered as though I had slapped her.

Admittedly, I felt bad after... but not bad enough to appologize. After all, there wouldn't be any discussion of repossession if she could get invoices to us in a timely fashion in the first place.

Nonetheless, I had a busy mind as I sat here waiting for the phone to ring and the other shoe to drop.

But, as I sat, one of the more mild mannered EngineerFriends approached my desk. I braced myself for a request that I wouldn't really have time to handle. He leaned on the counter, looking down at his hands and the three dollars he held in them.

"I found these upstairs," he said. "I don't think they're mine, so I wanted to bring them down and ask that you find their rightful owner."

Now, we should note again that this man is an Engineer. Three dollars' worth of his time is an insanely short series of seconds. Three dollars of my time is nothing to spit at, either... but, nonetheless, I penned a note to the masses:

"An undisclosed**2 amount of money was just turned over to Lost and Found. If you’re (legitimately) missing some greenery from your pocket, please let either myself or [Receptionist] know before 4:00 p.m. today.

"If not claimed by 4:00 p.m., this will be turned over as a donation to the next Bagel Friday and a hearty Thank You will be issued to the anonymous contributor.

"Engineer's Time to Turn Over $3 to Lost & Found: $10

"Administrator's Time to Write Note to Masses about Lost Money: $5

Administrator's Time to Field E-mails and Phone Calls about Bogus Lost Money: $15

Restoring Faith in Humanity or Finding Out That an EngineerFriend Cares About Doing the Right Thing: Priceless

**1 Note To Self: Create a "Frazzling Spectrum." It will become the new standard upon which workdays are based, and will singlehandedly lift you from the doldrums of corporate life by shooting you to superstardom. Reserve your date with Ellen now.

**2 If I told them straight up how much had been turned over, everyone would show up claiming it's theirs. Human nature - although it's dishonest, it's not unexpected. So we combat it straightaway.

Technical Difficulties

It appears that Blogger is rife with technical difficulties, ReaderFriends. The past week's worth of posts are not posted.

I am working to rectify this as quickly as possible.

Thank you for your patience!

Day Job

It's no secret that I love to write.

But what I do often keep secret is the genre that I most adore: I would love nothing more than to write for children.

The inspiration that strikes me day-to-day is typically snarky, somewhat negative and a little down-ing. So I take my Sunshine, twist the thoughts around and try to put something a little more positive out into the ether.

This morning, as I meandered into the office, I thought about the everyday happenings that happened as I drove in.

And I thought about how any one scenario I faced having been changed would have completely altered my day.

For instance: What if I hit every green light on the strip instead of sitting at a series of reds? There may have been a parade up ahead with dancing elephants instead of just the boring commuters I saw.

Or: What if I had remembered my work badge on my first walk up to the office instead of having to walk back to my car and get it? Would I have gotten some cool prize like a free doughnut or something from a vendor that I just missed for my forgetfulness?

This train of thought lead me to consider a new writing series: The Almost Truth. Or perhaps One Little Change. Where I take some boring, mundane facet of my day, twist one tiny detail and imagine where that might take me.

I told you that story, to lead in to this story.

I love My Milk Toof by Inhae Lee (www.mymilktoof.blogspot.com). Her wit and whimsy are constantly entertaining to me, with enough clever wordplay and funny shenanigans to keep adults entertained while still offering storylines that could easily and happily be shared with children.

As I was reading her most recent post, a co-worker walked up behind me and asked what I was "pinning." I told him that I was in fact reading a picture book, and he peered over my shoulder to see what the excitement might be.

After declaring it an odd piece of work (admittedly, first glance can create that opinion when you think about reading stories based upon the big adventures of little teeth...), co-worker said "You should write one. Maybe about a couple of eyeballs."

I said "Great idea! 'Greeny and Bluey are the best of buddies, despite their outward differences.' It's not creepy at all."

He said "No, really. I bet you could write children's books."

Co-worker, I hate to tell you that nothing would make me happier. But my corporate lifestyle just doesn't provide the fodder for a children's writing career that a body might think.

But, I thought, it wouldn't take much to make the interesting stuff happen.

What One Little Change would it take to change my life?