Thursday, January 5, 2012

Glitter on the Inside

Happy New Year, oh Friend of the Reader Persuasion!

I hope your holiday was fantastic and full of fun. Whether you lit a menorah, trimmed a tree, regarded an aluminum pole or celebrated in another fashion entirely, I hope your days held all the beauty and awesomeness that the end of the year can bring.

In addition, I hope you got totally tanked over New Years and started the year doing something fantastic – like locking lips with a local beauty who you would never have had the nerve to approach. Or perhaps streaking down Main Street. Whatever suits your fancy.

As we ring in 2012, I can assure you that there are a host of New Years posts populating the Blogosphere talking about “changes” and “new beginnings” and all that jazz. And you know what?

That sounds like a plan to me.

The New Year *is* a time of new beginnings. It’s a time to use old traditions to make a new start for a new segment of your life. And perhaps the most popular New Years tradition – outside of Excessive Alcohol Consumption or Public Displays of Affection – is the New Year’s Resolution.

Now, I live with a New Year’s Naysayer. Yes, it’s true… Boyfriend of Amazingness is not one for the following of the New Year’s Resolution.** And, for the most part, I agree with him.

I’ve always made resolutions shortly after New Year’s. As a volunteer at a local Center of Organized Religion, I sit down with the kidets every Sunday and try to do something constructive with their time (outside of eluding the sermon and having snack). So, at the first of the year, it’s kind of a given that we’ll do Resolutions.

Since we’re following tradition, there’s a certain protocol we follow:

1)      Arrive in class and realize that it’s the first Sunday of the New Year.
2)      Scramble around attempting to find where we “Safely Placed” last year’s resolutions.
3)      Find the old resolutions and distribute them to the troopers.
4)      Read through old Resolutions – hilarity ensues.
a.       Spelling
b.      Artwork
c.       Weird resolutions that were achieved
d.      Conventional resolutions that were not achieved.
5)      Brainstorm as a group for new resolutions.
6)      Distribute construction paper and Colorful Writing Instruments to kidlets.
7)      Assist with spelling.
8)      Offer guidance to kidlet who insists that her only resolution is to talk to the boy she has a crush on.
9)      Offer suggestions to kidlet who insists that he’s “too old for this baby stuff.”
10)   Share new resolutions.
11)   Put “Somewhere Safe.”
12)   Eat Snack.

Despite its outward appearance, it really is a fun process. Watching the kids see what they created a year ago, realize how they’ve grown, and move forward a year older is an inspiration. (Because if I tell myself that often enough, I won’t feel old as I regard their fresh young faces and realize that I was an adult before they were even born.)

It’s also a chance for me to exercise a little childlike optimism of my own.**1

There’s something liberating about sitting down with a blank sheet of construction paper and a fresh pack of crayons to create something lasting… Like a list of things to try not to screw up over the next twelve months.

Popular resolutions of my own have included:

*Remember the location of these resolutions on New Year’s Sunday
*Clean more often
*Eat at home for less than $15 a meal
*Start yoga classes
*Make more time for family

But while these resolutions were fun and exciting, I usually ended each year with a list of things that left me feeling as though I had wasted twelve months of my life not accomplishing some very basic tasks.

Sure, there were always resolutions I completed. I did find time to visit my family. I do clean when I have time, and sometimes when I’m really not hungry, I can save an entire meal’s worth of money by just having a peanut butter sandwich.

But one can definitely see where BoA is coming from. New Year does not equal Prepared To Conquer All Inner Shortcomings.

So instead of creating a big long list of goals I wouldn’t realize last year, I decided to try a different route.

I could focus my energies on lots of little endeavors, or I could focus on one really big, really important aspect of my life.

So that’s what I did.

Last year, I resolved to Follow my Bliss.

What does that mean? It meant doing whatever made me the most happy. Some days, that was sitting on the couch with a bag of potato chips and a Disney movie marathon. Some days, that was dance workshops. Some days, that was writing. And some days, I would indulge in a nice sulk. Sometimes I would even cry.

But at the end of the year, I was a happier person. Making decisions because I was on a conscious mission to increase my personal happiness led me to have one of the most positive years of my life.

(Don’t worry, I’m almost done being a sap. Sit tight.)

So as this year drew to its inevitable close, I spent more than a little time worrying about what new commitment I should make to a Better Sunny in 2012. Following my Bliss is a life choice. It’s not something I did for a year and will now move on from – It’ll be a permanent part of who I am because I was able to devote a full twelve months to make it part of who I wanted to be. Looking back, I had no idea of the impact it would have. Looking forward, it scares the snot out of me to think what my next decision might be.

But, after much deliberation, I settled on one I thought I might be able to stick to.

(One that will rock Boyfriend of Amazingness’ socks, because he thought I had picked one very different from what I’m about to tell you. Or, at least, phrased differently. Don’t worry, honey – I promise not to go nuts.)

For 2012, I will attempt to follow one goal:

Share your Sunshine.

2011 had its ups. 2011 had its downs. Tumultuous would be a great way to describe it, but sounds a little more negative than I would like. Maybe “exciting” would be a better word to convey the changes and adjustments and fantastic new turns that popped up in the road.

But there were times throughout the year when – while I was still focused on following happiness – I forgot what happiness I had right then. I would get wrapped up in stress, or sadness, or anger, or stress (think that might be a big one?) and forget that I’m Sunny for a reason. I have sparkles inside that are meant to be shared. Sparkles that are easily smushed by negative emotions. Sparkles that wants desperately to escape. Sparkles just waiting for me to let go of that pent-up breath, so they can ride the Peppermint Breeze to freedom.

So, ReaderFriends – How will you share your sparkle this year?

**A fact he makes up for tenfold in his application of beer and kisses. So really it all comes out in the wash. Isn’t life grand? :)

**1 Because, you know, I do that so infrequently.

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